“On y va!” (a personal pep talk)

Photo: globaltraveler.com
Photo: globaltraveler.com

My plane leaves tomorrow and it will catapult me up into the sky away from my precious little babies. At first this trip seemed like a great idea – a week away from the kids with my husband, wandering the streets of Paris, spending long and lazy hours reading, talking, and people-watching in cafés, drinking wine and savouring fresh baguettes on the banks of the Seine. But now that I’m preparing to leave, I’m second-guessing myself. Why did it feel so necessary to get away, to make a temporary escape from all this domesticity?

Perhaps because it is necessary. All of us, especially mothers who dedicate long and exhausting hours to child raising, need a break once in a while. For me, ideally that takes the form of travel, which is something I love passionately and crave intensely. I never thought I’d live the life I’m living now, settled and married with kids in a small town. I always felt called to travel, to live overseas. I wanted to be an expat, a permanent foreigner, reveling in the daily challenge of navigating another culture. I’m very satisfied and happy with my Canadian life, but every now and then the urge to explore hits me with a wallop and I plead with Jason to go somewhere, anywhere… just, please, let’s go! I need reminders of who I used to be, beneath all these (sometimes suffocating) trappings of motherhood.

It’s fascinating and disturbing how having children can turn me from adventurer into homebody. Parenting creates alarming vulnerability in adults and, at times, I morph into a cautious, paranoid, even panicky woman that I don’t recognize anymore. I guess I’m just doing my job as a mother, instinctively wanting to protect my children, but there are times when I need to take a step back and relax. It’s very hard to go away, but it’s good to go away.

We’ve done this before. My kids will be fine. The trip will be fine. No. It will be spectacular, and I’m going to be home before I know it, back to the same old grind of routine – making lunches, school drop-off, visits to the library, endless dishes and laundry, squeezing in time to write posts, working out. And then Paris, in all its distant sophistication and seductive allure, will seem like a faint dream. Did that really happen? I’ll be asking myself.

Photo: derekroe.com
Photo: derekroe.com

Alors, on y va!

You might also like:
A Quest for Solitude
The Inspiring World of Mommy Travel Blogs
Viewing the world through mom-coloured glasses

Advertisements

3 thoughts on ““On y va!” (a personal pep talk)

  1. Enjoy your time away! I’m sure you will miss your boys while you’re away but you’re right, your sojourn to Paris will be over before you know it — make the most of every moment! I look forward to seeing Paris photos on your blog when you return.

  2. I have to confess I’ve only had one night away from my two – it’s just the way things have panned out though. I have a couple of weeks in Scotland coming up next month and it’ll be our longest time apart. The boys told me the other day that they can’t wait!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s