Duckie’s much-anticipated Guest Post!

I have the pleasure of introducing Duckie, a fellow mom, blogger, and writer that I know.  She asked me to do a guest post for her blog a few weeks back, and now she’s come over here to pay a literary visit.  Enjoy!

Hello, readers of Feisty Red Hair.  My name, well, my nickname, is Duckie.  A while back Katherine was kind enough to guest blog over in my little corner of the webiverse, Duckie’s World.  Now I’m here to regale with tales from my neck of the woods.

Katherine and I have a few things in common; we’re both stay-at-home mommies, writers, voracious readers, have 2 young children, live in a funky beach town, hubbies work at the same place and we love to cook.  Wait, that last one is a lie.  Katherine loves to cook.  I…well…

In all actuality, the mere thought gives me hives, brings on a bout of nausea and makes me doubt my existence in the universe.  For lack of better wording, I suck at it.  I don’t want to suck at it, but I get panicky when I think about what’s involved to create an edible meal my family will eat.

My hubby, thankfully, loves to cook, or we’d be eating a lot of PB & J.  He enjoys mixing and trying new flavours, shopping for ingredients and looking up new recipes for us to try.

So what’s the problem with this little setup, you might ask?  Well, I feel guilty that my husband, after coming home from work, cooks dinner.  It sounds silly, especially when I read this over, but it’s one of those unsaid rules we moms have given one another: if you stay-at-home you are in charge of ALL food preparation, combining and distributing.

A good majority of the moms I know cook all of the meals for their families, with hubbies usually in charge of BBQ management.  There’s recipe swapping, discussing what’s on the menu for that evening and when my turns comes to say what we’re having, I bite my lip, shrug and say, “Don’t know, Hubby’s making dinner.”  Then the room fills with an uncomfortable silence, one that says, ‘but you stay at home, you should have time to to cook.’  Believe me, it has nothing to do with time. It has everything to do with my lack of confidence in being able to cook.

Now, I should mention that I love to bake.  But, before you say it’s the same thing, IT. IS. NOT.

Not even close, people.  Making cookies, brownies and chelsea buns gives me a sense of accomplishment.  I have no qualms about tackling a complicated Martha Stewart apple torte recipe, complete with an ingredient list a mile long and 80 steps to completion.  That sounds like fun to me.  Nobody shushes when I bust out the homemade granola, but when I want to cry at the thought of cooking chicken, somehow I’m just not all of the stay-at-home mommy I could be.

It’s not just other moms giving me a look out of the corner of their eyes, it’s also my grandparents who like to make remarks about my lack of finesse in the culinary arts.  Every once in a while my grandpa will say, “Now dear, have you been cooking? You know, your husband works hard and deserves to come home to a cooked meal.”  My grandpa, while sweet, is 80 years old and has never had to take care of anything inside of the house…ever!  The man has no clue how to boil water, and when my granny would leave for a few days, he lived on corn flakes and blueberries.  Really.

So maybe it’s a generational thing.  Maybe I’m surrounded by genuinely awesome cooks, with me being the lone baker, or maybe we live in a society that expects the person who stays at home to be take care of it all?  Course there’s always the off chance this is all in my head and no one really cares if I’d rather bake dozens of cookies than try and cook a meatball.

Would you rather bake or cook, or are you super fancy pants and like to do both?


8 thoughts on “Duckie’s much-anticipated Guest Post!

  1. My brother-in-law is a fantastic cook and loves it, while my sister-in-law is a terrible cook and hates it. When they both worked, he suggested she could help out in the cooking realm. She appealed to her mother for advice on getting out of cooking, which amounted to “just burn it, all the time”. Worked like a charm. Now that he works and she doesn’t he still does all the cooking, but she shops and cleans up, which is just as much work in my mind.

    I have to admit, I’m a fancy pants who likes to do both, but I’m better at cooking, while my daughter is a champion at baking.

  2. I seem to be able to cook only “bland’ STUFF. Even though, I am retired and should have lots of time to try new recipes, my 26 year old son comes home from work and cooks a better meal than I do. So fear not, there is always a better cook in the relationship.

  3. Admittedly I like to do both – though I like the end results of baking better! 🙂

    Shouldn’t feel too bad though, not everyone can cook – my mums a housewife by choice as well but till date cannot cook anything except maybe make toast and simplistic-microwaving level of cooking if she can help it. Funny part is neither does my dad.

  4. Duckie, there is no written rule that SAHMs have to do all the food prep/cooking just because we are home! I think whatever works for your family best is the way to go.

    DH does 50% of our supper cooking. He loves to cook and finds it relaxing, even after a long day at “the plant”.

    I have a few things that I make well and enjoy making, and he has other things he enjoys making and he is an amazing cook! The kids, well, they mostly lothe anything that isn’t covered with breadcrumbs or bacon so we don’t generally worry about them!

    I love to bake and, I do most of the baking, but DH can whip up a pretty good boxed cake if needed… I do draw the line at making my own birthday cake.

    1. That is what happens in our house too….I love it that my hubbie enjoys cooking exciting Thai and Indian meals. Neither of us bake though…best just to leave those temptations well out of reach 😀

  5. Is it wrong that I’d rather do neither? Because that’s my answer!

    There’s a rare evening where I’ll be so distraught I need to focus on something other than my thoughts, and on those evenings, I’ll occasionally bust out one of the few recipes I’m OK at making. I’ll savor getting lost in preparing something, only to wake up the next morning and be back into the no-kitchen zone . . .

    1. Deborah, neither’s good too, heck, that’s what take-out is for. We gotta support small business owners, don’t we? I like baking because I like eating the results so much.

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